Times have changed alot....but I'm sure I dont have to tell you guys that. Nothing is what it used to be, especially sex. It used to be something sacred, but now, its like a hobby?? Usually, you would learn to know the person, THEN you would have sex, after you felt like you could truelly trust the person, and he/she meant that much to you, NOW you want to have sex first, to find out if its worth getting to know the person? Which in my opinion is sooo wrong! Offcourse the sex isnt going to be good if you guys have only known eachother for ONE damn night!!! theres no feelings/passion in it! its just a shag! What are your views on it? Do you think its ok to sleep around? And if the girl/guy you were sleeping with, would you leave them coz they were bad at it, or would you work at it, coz they had a real nice personality?(Pic taken from PostSecret)
29 comments:
depends on if you want something shallow or a long time commitment. but even then no-one wants to have to wait 6 months to have sex with someone anymore.
i have one friend who's saving himself for marriage - they're both afrikaans, met at christian camp, been going out for 3 years, only getting married now - no nookie so far :)
I think its totally wrong to sleep with someone you dont love. Only hapened once with me....
but then again thats MY opinion...hahaha!
I think sex is one of those things that it's a big deal before you have it for the first time and unfortunately for a lot of people after that it becomes something different. I think that's why people handle it so casually because after that first time it just doesn;t seem like that big of a deal anymore.
I don;t agree with that idea but that's what I've come to understand. I also don;t like how it's ok for a guy to sleep with a bunch of girls and be considered cool, but if a girl sleeps with a lot of guys she's seen as easy and a whore. I think it's sleezy either way.
The media is to blame for this new laid back view of sex and it's unfortunate because it's at the point where there is really nothing that can be done. it's a sad thing, but what can you do
I agree totally with Marge.
@ chew the cud - if you love that person youll wait forever.... i take my hat off for your friend who is waiting for marriage, you dont get many guys like that anymore. My respect to him!
@ naps - thanks for your opinion naps, I appreciate it, especially if youre being serious.
@ marge - Yeah, sex is such a big hype before you do it, but when you finally get to doing it, its like "what the hell was all the fuss about?!" and its true about guys being cool, and girls being skanky, but guys like the skanky girls, coz they know, if they want something, they can get it by her, but when they want to marry, shes not good enough, then all of a sudden they want some sweet innocent virgin. It makes them JUST as, if not MORE skanky than the girls.
Okay hier is ek nou nie serious nie...
Imagine n vienna en n rolletjie...jy vat daai vienna en rolletjie en gooi hom vol mostert en tamatie sous...
Jy haal die vienna uit en vee hom af dan is hy mooi skoon....maar try die rolletjie afvee....al die tamatie sous en mostert het in die relletjie ingetrek...
hahaha
Wow- controversial topic this one. Hmmmm, you see, people see this in two ways, and in my opinion, both ways are correct.
1. Sometimes people just want to have sex, men and women alike. And don't be mistaken women are very much like that. The need to just get rid of carnal urges and just have pleasure is something that humans crave every now and again.
2. Sex is a means of expressing physically your love for your partner. This is sacred and beautiful and should not be shunned, but should not be seen as 'not fun'.
Basically, from what I have learnt is that it is ok to be frivolous and easy going, but acknowledge that connection with someone when it is a deeper connection.
Sex is too much of a big deal nowadays. It really isn't. Just know wat you're doing, and enjoy life is my opinion. [that does not mean sleep with as many people as possible though!]
i've had some amazing first time sex....but it depends on the connection you feel with that person....
sex is imnportant, and an integral part of my relationship, and if someone is, as you say, 'bad' there's nothing a little gentle encouragement and teaching cant take care of....you just have to know how to do it without sounding mean....:)
I disagree with you here,
I think sex has been like this for decades, perhaps not as bad but pretty much...
I just think that when you were younger your perception of sex was softened by the fact that you grew up in a more sheltered habitat.
now your older and its no holes bared. you are not protected from reality anymore
@ phlippy - Yeah, there are other ways to enjoy life, especially at the rate that aids is going at lately.
@ Tam - I suppose you could teach them do to it the way you like it, but most of the time, first impressions last, so they dont stick around.
@ Lee - Youre actually right Lee, if you think back to the days of the hippies, sex was like a sport. But in those times, aids wasnt as big of a threat as it is now. So its much more risky.
Hey Sam - I agree on the AIDS front, as will Champers when she is back. It is the one main deterent.
Okay lets see.
According to me Sex are just an overrated topic and thing to do when your borred.
Okay I dont say that its wrong to do it if ya wanna but thats your opinion.
I in the other hand I do prefer not to just do it because Mr. small gremmy is driving me insane but will rather leave it for the right time. Marrage? Nope I'm not that boring in life.
But yeah have to say that I have spoke to an 14year old girl that have had more sex than me... Okay bad example, more than you reading here... Thats just wrong.
O and for Lee's opinion. Yeah sex have always been the same. So your parrents tell you thay never had sex before marrage... True but then also at your age they have been married for what 3 4 years... So whats the deference, we just dont get married that soon anymore.
it is wonderful to see so many men that is against a one night stand.
I wonder if aids were not a factor would more men sleep around? it is a change from a few years ago when most men went out of their way to look for one night stands.
girls dont be shy to ask for what you want and to teach your partner the finer this in love making. so many men think they are born with the skills and sadly they are not.
as long as you are responsible - ENJOY IT
:)
I agree that if there are emotions involved instead of just something to do, the sex is much better. But any relationship develops at a different rate...you have to go with what feels right for you.
this posting sure illicited some interesting feedback. Nice one SaM-GiRL
Thanks Phlippy, I try ya'know=)
I spent most of my youth feeling guilty about sex and even more guilty whenever I did sleep with anyone...its different for different people I guess.
Some people can be totally casual about it and other totally repressed. I guess as long as your doing what your comfortable with...
I've never been one to complicate my life. Being married makes this question an easy one to answer: you should get to know the person (really really really know) before having sex.
mmmmmm
pumkinEater
Sammy introduce me to your friend Lee :)
I miss the chats :(
pumkinEater
WHAHAHAHAHA Lee, there's an eye on you.... LOL
Hey Pumpkin
Why dont you introduce yourself
Hey, I just noticed, I'm in your links. Thanks :-)
Hmmm, sex.
I've been with a couple guys that had NO clue what they were doing in bed, and they were pretty small. There's only so much you can do with that. Luckily we had sex before there were any feelings ;-)
As for sleeping around...I think if you're safe there's nothing wrong with it. How else will you know what you like and don't like when you do find that certain special someone :-)
@ shadowfalcon - Yeah, it changes from person to person. But the ones that f**k around should atleast try and be safe!
@ JR - Respect my man! I think that is when you have the most BEAUTIFUL sex anyway.
@ pumpkin - Ill see if she wants your number
@ Arlene - Yeah, I read your blog daily, its easier to just go there through the link. lol. And yeah, if you sleep with a few guys you will find out what you like, but luckily for me, I found it in the first guy. Im set.
Sex can be great escapism, but in this way at the end of the day it only leaves a person feeling empty. Unfortunately people have sex for different reasons when they should have it for only one, to express love. (o yeah and that whole procreation thing, but dont need to have sex to do that anymore anyway) now everyone has urges and some people are more willing to settle for the shallow experience to satisfy them. Nothing wrong, its a personal preference. The point is it is too risky nowadays. As long as the person does not feel they have cheapened themselves or their definition of love, no one has the right to judge. One just has to be sure they are not doing it for the wrong reasons....
Very nice writing Sam. :)
@ cuteness - yeah, coz at the end of the day, only God can judge us. Thanks hun.
I think a good shag can be had by strangers, but it's like having a good hamburger. Enjoyable, feels/tastes good but that's all. I have no problem with it, and I'm not against having a meal "out".
Sex within a relationship can be light and fun/funny or can be deep and spiritual. And yes, it's worth working on just like every other part of the relationship, to make it better, more satisfying. But the great thing is that the occasional go that isn't so great if taken out of context is still pretty great as part of my marriage.
recently seperated and was reintroduced to an old friend who i`ve known for 30 years. we went out a few times and were crazy about each other then but things didn`t work out for us as kids.
well, nows the time for that second chance.
is thirty years long enough to wait?
we are going out on saturday.
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